We are getting far too familiar with the process of a VCUG, from a personal standpoint.
Sure, being nurses, we familiarize ourselves with these diagnostic studies every day....
But when it's personal, it hits home a little harder.
Suddenly, every step of the process becomes more painful and wrenching, and each part is memorized in acute detail...imprinted with the face my baby has made with particular steps.
The night before her VCUG, someone asked about Maya's appointment at the hospital, and she heard....
She went from being carefree and happy to screaming and crying, "No, nah my poin-men"! It was so hard to console her. She finally did go to bed that night, but in the morning, while her brothers and sister were eating this and that for breakfast, I was forced to tell her that she was not allowed to eat ANYTHING...only drink some water or juice. Of course, when Lydia pulled out a cookie (breakfast of the champions) Maya was sent into a outrageous fit, tears falling to the floor with eyes red as can be, over that cookie. Lydia saw the sadness embrace Maya, so she offered her the cookie...before I could grab it away, Maya's tiny hands had found the cookies sweet sticky luring, and her mouth was headed for a bite of heaven. I intervened, and she cried harder...
Still, I cannot explain to her why she is unable to eat...she doesn't understand...
Maya had cheered slightly by the time we were waiting in the radiology department...
But on days like these, a smile is quickly followed by tears....
We simply enjoyed the smiles as we sat and waited!
Maya always has a little play time before the big thing!
And then the "ow-ee"s come...they roll off of her tiny tongue over and over and over again....
When she feels she is not being heard, she screams them a bit louder and the tears fall every so quickly.
Ow-ee with a squeeze from the blood pressure cuff.
Ow-ee with the little flashlight which is placed on her tiny finger to measure her oxygen saturation.
Ow-ee over everything!
Soon enough, the tiny bit of sedation is given to her, and the procedure is well underway! Good nurses, good doctors, and very good child life specialists...make for a good experience!
On this particular day, my sweet Maya had to run to another appointment with Mommy (as is familiar to her these days!). She thought she was well enough off to stand and walk herself in. I knew that she wasn't. Her loopy mind grasped hold of her body and she was violently forcing her way out of my arms. Finally, as all parents do at one time or another, I let her learn on her own; it was so hard for me to do, but I walked in fingers length to her as she was placed feet first on the sidewalk. I knew she would fall.
I was with her...step by step, she drifted to the left...and to the right...and then she fell face first onto the concrete. I scooped her up and told her, "Baby girl, that's why I can't let you walk on your own anymore for awhile. I need to take care of you..." Through her tears was a sobbing "Ohh..Kaaay".
She was thrilled with her ability to sit on the step stool and play with the gifts she received at the hospital. She was asked what the little doll wanted to wear, how she felt, and even what color everything on her would be. It was obvious, Maya knows enough about what happens yearly to know that it's just a very sad thing to go through!
Maya...you are my hero!!!
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