Tender Mercies

Tender mercies tend to come through the tribulation...I have learned! This doesn't mean that tribulation will soon cease; it merely gives aide to the trial currently experienced, and all too often, the tough climb ahead. I received a tender mercy last night.

The boys have been home all week...school district boundaries are driving us nuts! Along with school district boundaries, the boys themselves are driving me nuts! They have too much energy for a home with too little boy toys! Believe me, Santana and Gabe have tried...they even surprised them with a blue and green hot wheels car one morning, but the boys need SCHOOL right now. They have been through a summer packed with a new baby, a lost job, a big sister--still a babe herself--begging for attention anytime the new baby is down, and another move. They are also very excited to start school...more school dilemmas another time...

The boys released their energy though rampaging shopping market aisles yesterday. They begged for every item on the shelf and threw silly tantrums for 5 and 7 year old boys because "no" was the answer they received for the most part. On top of tantrums, tears began to flow endlessly with wails of, "He got 2 snacks, and I only got one". I was beat...so I continued eating my almond kisses, like any good mother would! This Mommy threw her own pouting fit for a moment when the grocery store wasn't stocked with the items needed for a nice special dinner for my husband and the Smiths. Yesterday just didn't go well...

But then, as I was about to throw my hands up and scream "I surrender", the Lord gave me a tender mercy. I held Maya in my arms as I was preparing the substitute dinner I came up with. She faced outwards, my left arm snugly wrapped along her chubby belly...and she fussed with the fatigue of a long day. I was determined to sit my three older children down to dinner before I ran to give Maya her last feeding and place her safely to sleep. I turned her around and placed her head on my shoulder to convince her that she would be more comfortable in a different position--but convincing was out of the question. Maya instantly became still, her body relaxed into a helpless sleep, her eyes closed, and she drifted to sleep on my shoulder.

Shane gave me that same exact tender mercy at the same age...in every single motion, whimper, and cry. It reminded me, for a moment, that as a mother I will face screaming, tantrums and tears more often than still loving cuddly moments...but the Lord will give me those moments when I most need them to carry me through. The relief was indescribable, and it prepared me for today as I am again facing more tantrums, obstacles with schools, and yes...always tears!

Did I mention how much I love the New Mexico skies? The sun? The cool nights and warm days? And even the wind that brought my young track star stride to a complete standstill in high school? Yes, I am happy to be back! I believe these kids will find enjoyment here as well...the wind was a thrill for them as they ran against it and with it...back and forth...dozens of times! Oh, to be a child again!

Cousins

I can't help but laugh at these two little cousins. They are spittin' images of their Mommies (me and Sunny, we're sisters) and they are the same size, yet Emma is twice Lydia's age!!! It is awkward to watch the developmental differences, and as Connor and Aiden would say, "Lydia's head is HUGE!" compared to Emma's. I love toddler heads!!! I have yet to upload images from the trip...but more is coming, I promise!!! We now reside in New Mexico...the Land of Enchantment; I am hoping the door to a brighter future has opened, I am feeling it is so!

Happily Enduring

Yesterday was a good day! We had lots of talking, lots of kisses and smiles, a good "sunshine" nap at the water pad with a pretty sun-dress on, and little technical accomplishment but LOTS of play!

Today was a hard day; we had lots of screaming, lots of pouting, and tears that wouldn't stop. Thank heaven for pretty little hands to soothe when nothing else works.

I had a similar day about a month ago. I came down with mastitis--it hit like a rock when Steve was away at an Elder's Quorum meeting. Maya was having the hardest night she has ever had since birth. I was shivering, aching, and texting my husband for relief. Maya was screaming, inconsolable, and too tender and new to lay down helplessly. I bounced her and prayed for strength--still...no relief, and the strength seemed to be leaving my body at a speedy pace. Finally, Steve arrived and quickly hopped into the shower--intending to be a savior for me and my Maya. But...as soon as he was about to come to my aide, Maya shut her delicate eyes, peace swept through her body, and she drifted off to sleep. I felt impressed to know that....sometimes the Lord simply asks us to endure...yes, He is there, but there are simply some things we must suffer through alone to understand...to believe...to know...to grow. This was one of those kinda nights....helping me to understand that one of those kinda nights can further help us understand one of those kinda moments in life. For as of late....sometimes we have been asked to just endure...and someday we will understand...as we have believed, grown to know, and gained strength.

Tired

Well, I have no idea why these pics uploaded like this...

So, Steve left to the store with the boys. I just put Lydia down for a nap--she is cutting some teeth and CRANKY!!! Maya is now sleeping on my lap after some golden milk, and I am "starting" to think...hmmm, what can I get done?

1. Clean

2. Pack

3. Quilt

4. Nap

5. Or get the toddler who is now talking up a storm???

This is very typical of a day here. There is no longer a moment to spare for cleaning, quilting, playing with the boys, making meals, make-up, hair, and some days even a shower. I'm not complaining about it--I actually think this little life I'm living with girls 16 months apart is teaching me a great deal about patience and long-suffering...surely, it's teaching me about sacrifice! I love my girls. When I'm holding Maya, I am desperate to find ways to give Lydia attention, and when Maya sleeps, Lydia is all I feel capable of focusing on. I hope my boys are understanding. The Lord knew the demands these two would be--He planned this!!! I hope the boys grow from the experience, and I hope they don't feel too neglected. :(

We went to the water park yesterday--much needed!!!

I also felt the need to capture a few images of my "Butter-ball". Now, when I say that I fed her some golden milk, I meant it! Can you believe that at 9.5 weeks, this little 7 pound 6 ounce newborn can look like this? She is wonderful!!!

Goals!

Just thought you should know...

I'm workin' on gettin' skinny again! This old picture in 2/2008 is motivation!!!

And she's workin' on stealing all of my makeup and putting it in her...hair! Yep, Lydia likes to put lipstick and lotion all over her hair these days. She did this Saturday and I have yet been able to wash her hair and get it dry and cute before she puts more lipstick or lotion in it again!

I sure do love having girls...she wore a GREEN necklace to church today with her red, white, and blue dress! She looked fashionably beautiful! I had a marvelous time at church chatting with another mother in the mother's room...her name is Crystal (that explains her good company!), and more than chatting, we laughed about how alike our experiences day by day are! It is a hard thing to gain such good friends only to walk away in about a week to a new life...but friendships are eternal--for that I am grateful.

My Boys!!! AUGUST 6th (official post date)

Well, here are a few photos from past days. I loved listening to my boys in such innocence. They were and still are so good to me. "I love you Mommy" and "I miss you Mommy" rolled off their slurring tongues three years ago. I was in NM for my little sisters graduation from HS. Our Baby Shane passed only 6 weeks prior, and it was painful for Steve to have me gone. But, he had these lovely boys by his side, and they showed their love to me through picture and video.
They are still so good to me. Last night before going to work, Connor looked at me in my scrub attire and said, "What are you doing?"

ME--"I'm going to work honey. We need money, and you have to work for that!"

CONNOR--"You have to work even when you have a baby to take care of?"

ME--"Yep, honey..."

CONNOR--"That's weird."

WOW--Connor gets it! Raising a baby is tough work--the world doesn't know half of what this little guy can teach!

Today, while getting this and making that, and assuring they had every little item to make their hearts happy at lunch time, Aiden said, "I know it's hard work for you to walk around the table!" He then followed it quickly with, "I know it's hard work for you to make stuff!" He then proceeded to hug me and say "Thank You" for his lunch! He gets it too!!! YES!!! I sure do love my boys--all three of them. I know the third one visits me often--sometimes when I am at my lowest--or perhaps just my "stillest", he is there! Thanks Shane!