Before Lydia Comes, Let's Remember...

I was never able to post an update to how our Baby Shane's Birthday turned out to be for us...so, before Little Miss Lydia comes, I thought it would be proper to remember that day and the happy memories we made! It is a tradition to decorate our Christmas tree on Shane's Birthday, as we open the Christmas season in the proper Spirit of love and hope, of gratitude and trust in our Savior.  When I came home from the hospital with Shane, Steve's #1 agenda was to take the boys out for a tree while me and Shane enjoyed some time together.  That was the first year we began our Christmas season with such a blessed event, our Baby's birth!  So, in keeping with that very Spirit, we spent the first part of our day putting up the tree, and the last part of our day decorating it!

This is a picture of the boys outside of Apple Bees; it is not my first choice for a restaurant, but Connor has a memory of gold.  On Tuesday, March 27th, 2007, my sister Sunny and her husband were in town, and we all ate at Apple Bee's that afternoon after getting Shane's four month picture taken.  Shane passed on Saturday the 31st.  Connor holds onto that memory; therefore, he chose the place we would eat at this year!

When we got to the cemetery, we were overcome with joy to find that Grandma and Grandpa had visited and left Birthday surprises.  Two blue carnations (to Connor's pure joy--he gave Shane a blue carnation on the day of his funeral and longs for the day when Baby Shane will come back with Jesus and a blue carnation!), two mini cars, Grover, a balloon, and a card.  We added some flowers to the scene.  Aiden gave the balloon hugs and kisses!

Steve had to get a profile image of me that day--I was almost 35 weeks there.  I am now in my 38th (almost 39!)week, and I would have to say that I haven't really changed much....thank goodness!  Just feeling a lot more achy and anxious!

It is a wonderful thing to be so close to the grave--to be able to visit and say I love you, although we know his spirit is probably very close to us more often than we realize.  But we, as humans, have such concrete minds at times, and it helps all of us in the family to go and sing Happy Birthday, to say a prayer, and to let him know we are so hopeful for our reunion again.  At the end of the day, Connor told me that the day was very special and it would be a day that he would never forget; I guess that's part of our goal as parents, to allow our living children to always remember their baby brother!

Of course, no Birthday would be complete without cake!!!  This is the traditional chocolate cake we love in our family, decorated with sprinkles...YUMMY!!!  Guess who ate most of the cake!?  It makes a good breakfast for a growing girl!

Santa Clause, I Still Believe in You!!!

The spirit of Christmas really began for us a few weeks ago, on December 2nd, when we celebrated Shane's birthday. I could not wait to fulfill my role as the man who really does have a bowl full of jelly. I love getting things for other people and seeing the smiles on their faces. We arrived at Christmas Eve and tried to make our annual trek to Baby Shane's grave, but odds were against us and we could not get there. We tried as hard as we could but there were at least 3 major accidents along the way as we changed our route each time until we could go no further. We came home and continued with our day, though missing our opportunity to leave our love at the graveside saddened me a little. The day continued and we made cookies, hung some new ornaments, and wrote our letters to Shane that we then laid to rest in our Christmas box, to be opened by Shane when we meet again (inside I'm sure he has already seen them). The boys were treated with fresh cookies and some ice cream as we read a Christmas story book made by Crystal and watched "Joy to the World". The spirit filled our home that evening and I felt an immense sense of gratitude for all our blessings, especially the gift of my Savior, Jesus Christ. I believe the kids sensed it as well and went to bed with a better understanding. As any child though, the anticipation for Santa to come grew stronger as they laid their sweet heads to rest one last time before awaking to Christmas morning. Mrs Clause and I did our thing which was not much, since most of the gifts had been under the tree for several weeks. Santa was the only one who had yet to bring his offerings. I had to snap a shot of our tree, which was tucked in the corner next to the kids play area (those aren't all Christmas presents).

Well, Christmas morning finally came and I woke Connor up knowing that Aiden would be up soon anyway. I wanted Connor to get the first peak at the tree since he is older and Aiden is normally the first one out of the bed. I thought he would feel special. He was up faster than I've ever seen him get out of bed and he ran to tell mommy and Aiden who had come to our room in the wee hours to "get up you sleepy heads; Santa came". So the boys made their way to the tree and we were off to opening gifts. This is actually a poster for both of the boys, but Connor was given the pleasure of opening it since we need he would be the most excited about it.

Aiden is obsessed with Star Wars lately and kept saying the only thing he wanted for Christmas was Star Wars Lego's. I knew I would be the assembly man but he was so excited! Look at him staring at the box in awe.
This is a gift from Aiden to Connor. All of the action/fighting kind of toys originally came to be something of interest through Aiden, but Connor has grown to like them as well and he really wanted to have this Optimus Prime helmet. Thanks Aiden!
Mimi and Papa got the whole family this "Wii fit" for Christmas. I think they are trying to tell us something. If I get rid of this belly though, I won't be able to play Santa Clause next year. I am happy to announce though that I did loose 5lbs the 2 weeks leading up to Christmas, probably only to put it back on with all the food.
Aiden got this cool speed racer helmet from Connor. He wanted it awhile ago before we even saw the movie. We were lucky enough to rent it and watch it a couple weeks ago, and I have to admit I thought it was cool movie. The boys loved it.

Here's more Cars stuff. It's all about Cars and WALL-E for this boy.

Well, here I am putting together the Star Wars Lego's I was telling you about. I am still working on it. There are like 1300 pieces.
And here are our little elves, at least that's what we were calling them. We told them they were wearing elf pants, which by-the-way, we made them Christmas eve. I made Aiden's and Crystal made Connor's. Cute, don't you think?
This one is just glad to be getting some hot chocolate and cookies (mostly the hot chocolate). He loves chocolate. I think he could live off of chocolate milk and peanut butter cups if we let him.
So, that was our Christmas at a glance. I hope you all had a very merry Christmas as well. Being with family is the best part of all. I am so thankful for that!

Apology to Our Armed Forces!

I was just thinking about our troops the other day and it dawned on me that I totally forgot about Pearl Harbor and Veteran's Day. I am ashamed to admit it! Last year we took something to the elderly man who served in WWII and lived beneath us in our apartment building, but I plain forgot this year with the busy end of the semester. I apologize to all those who have served and continue to serve our country. Thank you so much for all that you do! I have such a great love and respect for all of you. May God bless you and your families, and keep you safe!

Life Moves On!

It is hard to move forward with the blog in what seems like a loss in its own right. Crystal's post was touching for me and I feel sad, leaving it behind in a sense. I thought I would attempt just discussing the things at hand in our country right now. There really isn't anything exciting happening for us right now since we are studying for finals and politics interests me. It's not just politics though; it goes much deeper than that. I have such a love for this great land and I wish to preserve whatever good is left. I just read tonight that the House approved yet another "bailout", this time for the auto industry. It is funny how they did it under the cover of darkness after hours, so nobody could voice their concern. Every time they vote lately, it is an "emergency". That is a bunch of you know what! Well anyway, I decided when I read about that, I would write my two senators immediately so they knew where I stood. This is what I wrote to each of them: 

It is time to put partisan politics aside and do what is right for this country. What is right for this country is being an advocate for the free market system. Failure is an important component of the capitalist system. It has just as much of a place as success. The auto industry needs to do everything it can for itself before it comes crawling with its tail between its legs begging for help. Is there no shame in America anymore? Whenever we can get free money we jump all over it, knowing there will be no real requirements in return. Can you possibly feel good about yourself when you go to sleep at night knowing that you are selling your posterity's future down the river? Actualy, it is being sold to other countries who foot the bill for our excessive spending and unaccountable lifestyle. Please search your soul. Get down on your knees and ask the God of Heaven how He would have you serve your country best! If you do that, then I can ask no more of you. If you do not, then it is time for you to step down and let those who will serve both God and the people stand in your place.

I just hope that someday, somehow, one of these boneheads will wake up when the people speak out. They still do not get it. I pray that they will include God in their decisions. I fear that we are being lead by the blind though. On a lighter note, I got an email from somebody at school today. They sent a link to a funny holiday add for JCPenney. Some of you may have seen it, but just in case some of you have not, follow this link (Doghouse Commercial). It took awhile to load for some reason, but it is worth the wait. I may just be utilizing our family blog for my random political posts from now on, so I hope nobody finds it too offensive. I will be getting back to my Mormon blog though once this semester is out and I hope you will check it out from time to time. Your comments there are appreciated.

Happy Birthday Tiny Angel!

December 1, 2006--Mommy and Aiden anxiously waiting for Baby Shane.  Less than a day later, on December 2, 2006 at 3:07am,  we would hold our little angel for the first time.

Moments later, I would change into more comfortable "laboring" clothes and take a picture with our little family, Shane in belly, one last time before his entrance into this world.  Little did we realize how sacred his entrance into life would be for us and how little time we would be given to treasure and hold him as a tiny babe.

But on his Birthday, we held him so close, as any new parent would their newborn child.  Daddy marveled at the beauty of his third born son and proudly cuddled him in his arms.

I explored the face that hid within my belly for 9 long months and simply glowed in the light of a beautiful birth experience and a perfect little son.  Quite literally, I was in awe over how the Lord would bless me with a perfect tiny bundle.

Actually, we explored each other!

The proud big brothers--Connor and Aiden--came into the hospital room to visit their Baby Shane.  When Connor entered the room, he ran to me and said, "Mommy is Baby Shane out of your belly yet?"  I was holding Shane directly in front of Connor's face as he frantically looked around the room for his little brother.  After quite a bit of redirection, he saw his baby brother, tore his coat at both sides from the center of his body, smiled with enthusiasm, and said, "Baby Shane, look at my new cars shirt!"  Aiden was just a babe himself, almost 19 months old. Grandma had dressed the boys in brand new clothes for their first visit with their Baby Shane--they looked handsome, and I was overcome with joy as I held my three boys all at once.  There was no greater joy than to have all my children surrounding me.

I captured his beauty!

And the beauty of a big brother who would--over the few short months he had with Baby Shane--claim Shane as his own.  He still claims Shane as his own!  We sat together, Connor and I, in the weeks following Baby Shane's birth, and he would say that Baby Shane is, "Mommy and Connor's baby".

Daddy traveled home in the wee hours of the morning after Shane was born, got a few hours of sleep, and then traveled back to be with his baby boy.  The anticipation of our children's lives leaves Steve exhausted in the weeks surrounding their deliveries--he get's little sleep along side of me!

Honestly, Steve never really wanted to leave me and Shane; he was so rushed to get to us on the day of our discharge that he was pulled over by a police man for speeding AND not changing his address on his license within a specified amount of time.  (We had just moved to Lititz, PA--that is where all of our Baby Shane memories developed!)

I felt like an angel that day; little did I know that I literally held a perfect little angel.

Here is to the love we have for our tiny Birthday boy.  We celebrated his Birthday only once while he resided on this earth--the day of his birth.  Although the pain of his loss causes us to think of the missed anniversaries and land marks in his life, we are filled with anticipation for the time when we will have all of those precious moments to experience in a fullness of joy.  Still, my heart aches to hold him once more, to be brought back to that sacred day of his birth, to kiss his tiny hands and feet, and to say, "I love you so much!"  The Lord has heard my prayers, and I am certain Shane has heard those longings from me this day.  Godspeed my prayers!