Hastening Change When Your Body Fights You...

Not long ago, I was running around with my little sister....literally.  We ran round, and round, and round.  I trained hard for a marathon, got injured in my last few weeks of training, and decided to simply run the half marathon.

Training long and hard for that run was one of my best memories--for me and the children that I hauled in a double jogging stroller over  rough terrain for hours at a time.  While training went remarkably well, and I found myself busting out easy 9 minute miles on practice runs, the day of the race was terrible.  I couldn't relate it to anything at all.  Was it the surge of emotion going through me as I dedicated the run to my baby boy who died on that very day, in that lovely county we once called home, 5 years prior?  Was it my fear of getting hurt again?  Was is a fear of racing, something I hadn't done in awhile?

By the end of the race I was certain that it wasn't any of those things...I must be sick. I was pale, nauseous, and feeling completely out of my normal element.

My mother in law and my twin sister both commented on how they thought I'd be busting out the miles and killing them in the process, because their common motto for me was, "Crystal is strong!"  Whether it was to encourage me through hard times, or to relate what they really thought, it helped.  On that day, however, where was strong?  Where was the swift runner that had to naturally increase the pace in order to gain a shortness of breath again?  Where was Crystal?

I thought little of the logic behind the aching run when it was said and done, I simply tried to put it behind me. I admit, it worked for a little while.  However, life took a quick turn, and that day stays with me as a reminder that who I am today is not a coincidence or a punishment for anything I have personally done; who I am today is what God has required of me.  Some days it hurts more than others.  Some days, it leads me to tackle more and work harder.  Some days, it wraps me in grief as I wonder "why?"

Fast forward 2 years and 2 months from the date I ran that half marathon.

I have always lived a healthy life--never indulged in alcohol, too much fast food, or some of the challenging things people find themselves trapped in.  That's not to say I haven't had my own struggles and little cravings and love for food--we all do, it's part of the joy in life.  I lived 32 years healthy as I could.  After every baby, I worked hard with diet and exercise to get the baby weight off, I counted calories like the big time people tell you to, added protein supplements, and found every way I could to take the kids along for the journey....a single jogger turned into a double jogger, and the treadmill became a circus night as the children gauged how far and high they could go after my run was complete.  Even the last 2 years have been full of attempts to access that life again, but just like that run on March 31, 2012, something has not been the same....and fighting that change is harder than ever.

I recently received a very thorough run down of some of my labs that have been reading off the charts.  That, with a few other symptoms that I have never suffered has left me wondering what exactly is happening.  Long story short--the deeper labs showed off the wall activity.  The body is amazing when it fights to maintain homeostasis--that happy place in every body system you can think of--respiratory, circulation, digestion, neurological, etc.  However, when it is constantly fatigued by a "stressor"--like a parent is shot to the ground by the rounds of tears over accidents here and there all day long by a toddler who is learning self control while leaping into exploration--it ends up losing momentum and giving up.

What are the bodies "stressors"?  That's the question which yields answers that are different for each and every one of us.  My first indication that something was wrong was when I was diagnosed with Hashimotos Hypothyroidism in 2012.  Hashimotos is an inflammatory condition in which my body, for some unknown reason, starts to attack the thyroid with antibodies--those wonderful suckers that are meant to attack foreign invasions!!!  No, MY thyroid is not foreign, but my body thinks it is.  Naturally, when your body attacks itself, you officially have an autoimmune condition. As the last few years have passed, more lab values went sky rocket high as I have been on treatment for the thyroid problem.

An autoimmune condition isn't just an autoimmune condition.  Something has to trigger it to start.  It can be burn out,  food allergies, genetics--a multitude of factors can play into the big picture.

Now is the time when the search for my triggers needs to kick into gear.  If I can't find them, the risk for heart problems, stroke, and even diabetes are extremely high--they presently are as it is.  Now, after 2 years of fighting one disease I am gonna tackle the threat and deeper onset of many more.  I was doing my research today and came across a quote:

"Excess inflammation is a major cause of disease in our modern times.  It is linked to diabetes, cancer, heart disease, arthritis, and even the aging process.  This makes reducing inflammation one of the most important ways to promote health and longevity."


I have no idea how living greater than 90% of your life at an optimal weight with a ton of exercise has led to such a bad picture.  Regardless, it is what I need right now for a reason.  I believe we each have time stamp upon us.  Every day we live is numbered by our Father in heaven.  We are asked to live in exactness and truth, but no matter how exact and honest our lives are, we must give over total control to Him.  He is the sealer of our fate, the master behind the script, and the loving arms we will fall into one day, after the struggle is over.

I have a husband and four young children who need me, ever so much. They are my life.  When the demands of caring for me become too much, and I neglect myself for a time, my pure love for them kicks in and allows me to care for them still.  Transitioning to taking the time for me needs to commence...so I can be here for them.

Let the challenge begin...."may the odds be ever in your (okay, my) favor"!

I Know a Name, a Glorious Name...MOTHER!!!!

We have all just celebrated the greatest among us, mothers. If it were not for them, none of us would exist. It is because of both fathers and mothers that we are here, but ultimately it is our mothers who brought us forth into this world. They are beautiful vessels who have fulfilled the measure of their creation. We owe our deepest gratitude and fondest of feelings to her, who gave us life. To my own personal mother and my dearest wife, the mother of all my children, I love you both! You have both given me life in different ways. You have both helped shape me into a better man. You have both strengthened me. You have loved me when nobody else would, and at times when either one of the two of you didn't want to for one reason or another. I am here today and continue pressing forward because of you two special ladies. Your love gives me strength and your mercy teaches me to love and become softer; gentler; sweeter. You have both sacrificed of yourself in order to help both myself and my kids thrive and feel loved. You both, as with many mothers, put yourself before others while utilizing your last bits of energy to survive. But when the time comes, that you are face to face with your Maker and the ones you have loved, you will find that they will honor your names. They will praise you for doing as Christ himself did, serving others when in reality you were the ones worthy of being served. And one of the truest signs of love and sacrifice I know has been displayed in the usage of just one word. The word again, being a form of mother. For as time has passed and marriage allowed for me to be blessed by another daughter of God, that angel whom I call my wife, now refers to my mother affectionately as "mom".

"A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts." ~ Washington Irving