"I Won't Give Up"

Let's say, life has been a little on the HARD side lately.  I expect hard times, I anticipate them, but some hard times sneak up like a thief in the night, and so many have in the last several weeks.

I was fatigued today...so much that all I could do was lay in bed most of the day.  I remember having just enough energy to place Maya in her crib for a nap and telling Lydia to please be a big girl and have fun in the bath but get dressed on her own when she was ready.  She did.  She walked out of the bathroom 10 minutes later to cuddle with me as I dozed off with a heating pad on my feet to rid them of the aches that felt intolerable.  I was weak and weary.  Tonight when the girls were in bed, I pulled out my uke and started playing this Jason Mraz song...

"I won't give up".

For the first time today I felt the Spirit, I felt it's sweet stirrings in my soul as I heard the Lord saying to me, "You are much more than you know.  You have been through more than this life alone.  Just hold on.  Find who you are and know now, that as I speak peace to your heart, you will be beautifully whole." I cried, it was so real, so hopeful and so true.  I am not whole right now--in mind, body, or spirit; I wish to grab onto Jesus' robe and have Him exclaim that virtue hath left Him.  I know He can heal...in this life or the next. Dear, dear God, I won't give up.

"When I look into your eyes.

It's like watching the night sky,

Or a beautiful sunrise.

There's so much they hold

And just like them old stars,

I see that you've come so far,

To be right where you are.

How old is your soul? 

I won't give up on us, 

Even when the skies gets rough

I'm giving you all my love

I'm still looking up 

And when you're needing you're space,

To do some navigating.

I'll be here patiently waiting,

To see what you find. 

Cause even the stars they burn,

Some even fall to the Earth

We've got a lot to learn,

God knows we're worth it.

No: I won't give up.

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily, I'm here to stay

to make the difference that I can make.

Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use the tools we've got,

Yeah , we've got a lot at stake.

And in the end, you're still my friend, at least we did intend for us to work, 

we didn't break, we didn't burn.

We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in.

I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not, and who I am. 

I won't give up on us,

Even when the skies get rough.

I'm giving you all my love,

I'm still looking up"

Lyrics gratefully credited to Jason Mraz's "I won't give up"