Works of Our Labors

Beautiful Connor--

Over the last few days I have watched you.

I have studied your patterns of behavior as you strive to obtain a cozy place to rest after your showers each day.  Inevitably every single day in the last three, You have taken your "big brother quilt" and snuggled with it.  It is just large enough for your body which will quickly outgrow mine n the next year or two.  I made it for you when I was expecting Aiden in 2005.  We weren't sure if we were having a girl or a boy, so I had to stay gender neutral, and luckily it looked more like a boys quilt in the end because he was indeed a boy.  I wanted you to feel loved and remembered...treasured, and a sacred member of our family.  You didn't quite understand at the time.  It wasn't until I was expecting our third child, little Baby Shane, that you caught on.  Shane's baby quilt was made, and I was making Aiden's "big brother quilt.  You were proud in the knowledge that you already had your big brother quilt.  

Your big brother quilt sits at the end of your bed, and you now use it for comfort.  It matched Aiden's baby quilt, which sits at the end of his bed.

Aiden's big brother quilt drapes his bed...he loves sleeping under it every night.  It matches Shane's baby quilt which lies with him in his grave.  When I was told I needed to wrap Baby Shane in a blanket to lay him in within in his casket, I was torn.  I wanted to have that physical reminder of him...all those beautiful stitches I placed into it, by hand...just for his tiny frame, to carry me through this life.  But...I knew that when he rises, I will have more joy to see that quilt rise in it's perfection with him.  I would wrap it in my arms nightly if it were here, but it wraps his cold body constantly now, and that is where it should be.

Connor, I have never seen you cleave to this quilt as tenderly as you have lately.  It has spoken to my soul that sometimes, especially in parenting, the fruits of our works are not known until far after the work has been completed.  Thank you for teaching me, yet again, Beautiful Connor.  You will soon out grow it, and maybe then you will begin to use your baptism quilt which drapes the walls in our living room.  I love you, my dear! 

By the way, I am wearing my hair pin you gave me for my Birthday today!  In honor of you, Beautiful Connor!