I wish there was an easier way to say this, but there isn't; lately, we all seem to trudge along around here! Well, maybe not all of us! The children enjoy their carefree childhood, as long as we aren't intervening and snatching it away from them. I often wish I could act as carefree as they do amongst all these obstacles hanging over me and the mountains steep climb ahead.
I wish I could dangle my feet on the bar stool and sit in places I'm not supposed to while drinking soda pop--just for the fun of it! It would require me to ignore the fact that laundry needs to be changed out, floors are being bombarded with ants because of sticky crumbs, and bills need to be paid. Well, some things I do ignore lately, but I don't feel carefree...just burdened! So, am I up to that challenge?
She is especially care free these days!
Instead of being who I really want to be...this is what I feel like! Yes, sometimes it's okay to cry...just a little. Just...a...little...and therein my dilemma is written!
I'd much rather do this and dream of brighter times to come. Hmmm...guess that takes a lot more work; wish me luck! Better yet, say a prayer for us...we could use it!
P.S. I'm not trying to complain...just feeling down. Hubby lost his job...again...and we are at square #1...again. It couldn't have happened at a harder time with a new born baby--it makes the whole work thing a little harder to bear on my end this time around. Yet, it does bring back the answer to my prayers years ago as I sat and contemplated going back to school...a clear resounding hymn woke me from sleep...almost like angels near by singing to my spirit, the tune "Prepare for tomorrow by working today!" The tune was given, I sought the hymn and words through study, I followed a prompting, and here we are years later. I am grateful I have the skills to carry my family through hard times; though it's not easy...or pretty, I am grateful. Godpseed strength and grace...I need it now more than ever.
2 comments:
Crystal I am sorry things are so rough. I can remember many times over the years that I have felt exactly as you feel right now. In fact, now may be one of them with Dave having been gone 9 months. But I have recently come to gain a great testimony that in our largest times of struggle, we can receive some of the greatest blessings. I don't know if that helps, but it has helped me feel better trying to see the blessings I can. (I'm not saying you aren't, I was just bearing my testimony of that). I hope things pick up for you guys soon
Crystal, My prayers are truly with you and I hope nothing more than for your family to receive a break and sense of ope. Your faith and testimony remain strong and I admire you greatly. I love you... I remember the boys finding those little spots while I was there... they are great boys! I love you all!
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