17 weeks...lovely little life

This tiny angel turned 17 weeks today. I was rushed off to work...my nursing job. It was all too reminiscent of the little 17 week old--to the day--baby I left as I was rushed off to a nursing exam 3.5 years ago. I spent a few extra minutes cuddling her this morning, taking a few pictures of her happy morning glow, because you never know when that glow will go away for the period of this life. She is perfect in ever way...my Maya Ruth brings me exquisite joy! I do miss my Shane so very much...I can't believe I only had him for 17 weeks, but it was 17 weeks worth of bonding and loving...every minute was full of unconditional love and light that gives me hope for my eternal family. I said goodbye to him one last time as I left the house that morning, I kissed his beautiful cheek as he drifted to sleep after his last feeding, and I told him in a gently whisper, "You are so beautiful...I love you so much". The Lord had prepared us for his loss, unknown to me at the time; then, as I left for just a few short hours (of the few short hours I had ever left his side through his life) the Lord took him quietly.

Today I returned home to my little angel...full of life and happiness. She enjoyed her feeding as soon as I walked into the door and drifted off into a deep sleep...so peaceful and beautiful. I held her, enjoying her lovely little life. Then she woke...a wide eyed grin greeted me, her Mommy. One day I will kneel beside my Baby Shane and he will wake with a wide eyed toothless grin...for me and my boy--his Mommy and Daddy.

We love you little Maya Ruth!

These girls spent all day with Aunt Sunny. Apparently she was able to get them to smile by saying, "Smile for Mommy!" They smiled at her phone...for me! Aren't they simply gorgeous?!

The first, I mean THEIR first day of school!

On the first day of school, scratch that! On the 8th, 9th, or 10th day of school--whatever day it was--we got about this far! The camera stayed on the counter, the kids were dressed and ready for take off, but I was a frantic mess! I realized all too late that the paperwork for enrollment was an impossible task with a screaming toddler and infant...so we stayed home!

So, on the second day of school, scratch that too! It must have been the 9th, 10th, or 11th day of school--we made it about this far! I actually took pictures of my beautiful boys in front of the school before anyone had arrived to begin the day. I was playing the role perfectly...encouraging my Miss Lydia in Mommy voice to stay right beside me, and laughing as she tried to assert her independence. Maya was in her car seat as I tugged her along, and the boys were super excited to be going to school together! A teacher, on her way in, exclaimed, "Are all of those yours?"! I said yes proudly and wearily all at once...happy to have them, but weary that all of them--except Maya--were running in different directions.

As I took these photos I thought of how funny it would be to be turned away...it was a mighty struggle to get them to THEIR first day of school after a long move from Louisiana.

AND...we were turned away!!! I told Aiden I was terribly sorry, and that we would try again at a different school...he was literally heartbroken. Connor was in heaven...he's a 2nd grader, they don't like school!

We tried again a full week later! I was a bit discouraged from my running around and refusals time and time again...so I took my time and really thought about where they needed to go to school...we were not, and still are not, in a permanent residence, so we played the guessing game.

They look thrilled huh? This ended up being THEIR first full day of school...and they were already in the principals office being chastised by the secretary for goofing off! Connor was ready to go home, and Aiden was learning that school isn't all fun and games...the big people get a little mad when you're too goofy!

But, they are still boys...and still goofy. Sometimes, they need their room to be such...

Because every day they are one step further from their wonderful innocence and one step closer to that crazy world I want to run away from!

Yes, they finally started school...and it has been nothing but chaos since. I sure do love my boys!

Emma's THREE!!!

(I feel silly taking the first shot with the Birthday girl on this post, but I failed to upload this pic last night with the original post and it uploads first when you upload it last...)

Happy Birthday Emma!!! The little ray of Sunshine turned three today! We had a blast celebrating at ABQ Jump!!! She is now decked out and prepared for Halloween with three costumes to choose from...a witch, a bumble bee, and a lady bug! Mimi is so creative with gifts...I wish I had those as little gal!

Check out how brave this little girl is! I was freaking out as I climbed the slide...she did it without fear!

There are my little "farm boys"! They seriously need an old wooden fence behind them and a pitch fork in hand!

There's Happy Hailey and her skinny Mama!

Connor sat in silence without a smile for a few moments, but Mimi knows exactly how to cheer a sad child...and he cracked!

Papa joined me on the B-ball action! I happily exclaimed to my mother that I should have done the whole basketball thing in high school after scoring dozens of baskets. She reassured me that she's almost certain they make this basket ball thing a little bit easier than the real thing!

There's the pretty Mama...she welcomed little Emma into this world three years ago!

And a pretty aunt cannot stand alone...Lydia spent her day looking pretty too!

We love you Emma Rose...Happy Birthday little Sunshine!

Happy Birthday To Me...1/2 and late!

Well, it's a good 25 days late, and only half a post at that, but I turned the big three-O!!! My day started with taking my children to THEIR first day of school. Aiden is keeping with our Fultz family school trend--never attend the actual first day of school! Yep, Connor has never started on the first day, and so far neither has Aiden!!! (I'll leave the rest for my next needed update!)

I then attempted to meet the moving truck at our "storage facility"! That was a failed attempt! After waiting for them for a good while they decided that they were going to use their time table and deliver the next day! So...I then went to the nearest McD's for some "take-out" with my sister and our girls, then onto the nearest park...and we played!

There's our little Emma...I had to post tonight so that we could celebrate HER Birthday tomorrow! Lovely little "ray of Sunshine"!

There's my mini me!

Then my other little niece and my buff sister!

When I have a way to upload my other Birthday pics, we'll celebrate the other 1/2 of turning 30! It includes me, a big belly from 5 children, lots of cake, and LOTS of candles. 30 feels like 29, which felt like 28...and so on!

Tender Mercies

Tender mercies tend to come through the tribulation...I have learned! This doesn't mean that tribulation will soon cease; it merely gives aide to the trial currently experienced, and all too often, the tough climb ahead. I received a tender mercy last night.

The boys have been home all week...school district boundaries are driving us nuts! Along with school district boundaries, the boys themselves are driving me nuts! They have too much energy for a home with too little boy toys! Believe me, Santana and Gabe have tried...they even surprised them with a blue and green hot wheels car one morning, but the boys need SCHOOL right now. They have been through a summer packed with a new baby, a lost job, a big sister--still a babe herself--begging for attention anytime the new baby is down, and another move. They are also very excited to start school...more school dilemmas another time...

The boys released their energy though rampaging shopping market aisles yesterday. They begged for every item on the shelf and threw silly tantrums for 5 and 7 year old boys because "no" was the answer they received for the most part. On top of tantrums, tears began to flow endlessly with wails of, "He got 2 snacks, and I only got one". I was beat...so I continued eating my almond kisses, like any good mother would! This Mommy threw her own pouting fit for a moment when the grocery store wasn't stocked with the items needed for a nice special dinner for my husband and the Smiths. Yesterday just didn't go well...

But then, as I was about to throw my hands up and scream "I surrender", the Lord gave me a tender mercy. I held Maya in my arms as I was preparing the substitute dinner I came up with. She faced outwards, my left arm snugly wrapped along her chubby belly...and she fussed with the fatigue of a long day. I was determined to sit my three older children down to dinner before I ran to give Maya her last feeding and place her safely to sleep. I turned her around and placed her head on my shoulder to convince her that she would be more comfortable in a different position--but convincing was out of the question. Maya instantly became still, her body relaxed into a helpless sleep, her eyes closed, and she drifted to sleep on my shoulder.

Shane gave me that same exact tender mercy at the same age...in every single motion, whimper, and cry. It reminded me, for a moment, that as a mother I will face screaming, tantrums and tears more often than still loving cuddly moments...but the Lord will give me those moments when I most need them to carry me through. The relief was indescribable, and it prepared me for today as I am again facing more tantrums, obstacles with schools, and yes...always tears!

Did I mention how much I love the New Mexico skies? The sun? The cool nights and warm days? And even the wind that brought my young track star stride to a complete standstill in high school? Yes, I am happy to be back! I believe these kids will find enjoyment here as well...the wind was a thrill for them as they ran against it and with it...back and forth...dozens of times! Oh, to be a child again!

Cousins

I can't help but laugh at these two little cousins. They are spittin' images of their Mommies (me and Sunny, we're sisters) and they are the same size, yet Emma is twice Lydia's age!!! It is awkward to watch the developmental differences, and as Connor and Aiden would say, "Lydia's head is HUGE!" compared to Emma's. I love toddler heads!!! I have yet to upload images from the trip...but more is coming, I promise!!! We now reside in New Mexico...the Land of Enchantment; I am hoping the door to a brighter future has opened, I am feeling it is so!

Happily Enduring

Yesterday was a good day! We had lots of talking, lots of kisses and smiles, a good "sunshine" nap at the water pad with a pretty sun-dress on, and little technical accomplishment but LOTS of play!

Today was a hard day; we had lots of screaming, lots of pouting, and tears that wouldn't stop. Thank heaven for pretty little hands to soothe when nothing else works.

I had a similar day about a month ago. I came down with mastitis--it hit like a rock when Steve was away at an Elder's Quorum meeting. Maya was having the hardest night she has ever had since birth. I was shivering, aching, and texting my husband for relief. Maya was screaming, inconsolable, and too tender and new to lay down helplessly. I bounced her and prayed for strength--still...no relief, and the strength seemed to be leaving my body at a speedy pace. Finally, Steve arrived and quickly hopped into the shower--intending to be a savior for me and my Maya. But...as soon as he was about to come to my aide, Maya shut her delicate eyes, peace swept through her body, and she drifted off to sleep. I felt impressed to know that....sometimes the Lord simply asks us to endure...yes, He is there, but there are simply some things we must suffer through alone to understand...to believe...to know...to grow. This was one of those kinda nights....helping me to understand that one of those kinda nights can further help us understand one of those kinda moments in life. For as of late....sometimes we have been asked to just endure...and someday we will understand...as we have believed, grown to know, and gained strength.