Your turn...How do you feel today?

More and More an Outcast, I Feel!!!

So, I know my title here makes me sound like Yoda, but here's my point. While at my clinical rotation for nursing yesterday, I made a comment about how a company put something on their chip bag about buying energy credits. I basically said it was a farce (which it is). Little did I know what a stir that would cause. I was confronted and what I would call attacked on every side. There were 7 other student nurses there and my instructor. I felt demonised for not buying into the garbage fed to us by Al Gore and his cronies. My clinical instructor from what I can tell called me an idiot (she denies it) and not one person agreed with me. I must say they got the best of me and I ended up calling somebody else an idiot as well. I felt like such an outcast and that I was being attacked on every front. I felt like they were trying to silence me, the opposition. I think that is something Jonah Goldberg was talking about in his book, "Liberal Fascism". For me it is hard enough going into nursing being a man, but then to add conservative values on top of that is even harder. In the beginning of the semester I was harassed about my wife and I having 4 children. I was told to get a hobby among other interesting things that don't need to be repeated. I remember telling somebody a couple weeks ago how I still believe in the goodness of people and how there was still so much hope. The more I am confronted with the "weirdness" of people I talk to, the less hope I have. I fear that we are entering an age when it is going to get extremely hard to be somebody with conservative values and even a belief in God. Maybe the hearts of men are failing them. I pray that is not the case and I hope I can reach out and love others in spite of our differences. I feel like I try to do that on a daily basis. I hope that I have left that impression on most people I encounter. If that is not the case then I am deeply sorry and will try to show my love for my brothers and sisters more fully. However that does not override the fact that some things cannot be compromised. There is no grey line with good and evil. It is black and white. I know that we have a loving Father in Heaven who loves all his children, but even he cannot tolerate wickedness. He wants us all to be free to choose to be good for ourselves. That is the only way we will learn and grow. Let it be known, that I have my own faults (many in fact), and I am beyond grateful for my Savior who has given me the chance to repent and be clean in spite of those weaknesses. I pray for the strength to be a better example in ALL that I do and say. I apologize ahead of time for a different kind of post on our family blog, but I just wanted my thoughts about life and recent events to be on record.

A Strange Feeling!

This morning, after dreaming that I was in pain, I woke and found that I was really in pain. It only got worse from there. I stayed up last night watching the defeat of freedom except for one glimmer of hope, a filibuster capable Republican senate. Then today I watched the morning news and was just disheartened. I had a strange feeling! It truly felt like there was a void in the spirit. I felt a piece of me was lost. I love this land! I am however, fearful of the path that we seem to be taking. It is sad to think that the majority willingly voted for socialism. I fear that when the majority of the nation no longer seeks after goodness, that worse events are to come. There is still hope though. We need to stand for goodness and truth. We cannot back down in the face of evil. We who believe that there is a loving God in Heaven who will bless the righteous, must make our voices known. Let today be the day when you decide what it is that you are willing to stand for. Who's on the Lord's side, who? As a prophet of God once said, "Don't just stand, stand for something"! 

Fall Festival, formerly known as Trunk-or-Treat!

I love the Fall!!!  I love waking in the morning to the smell of the fire burning.  I especially love when Steve takes the initiative to wake in the morning, tend to the children while I get some rest, and build a fire--waking to the smell and warmth is so comforting. 

I also love the anticipation of Halloween.  I was at the hospital yesterday, wondering how I would come home and complete Connor's costume before our ward "Fall Festival".  Needless to say, it did get done, but it sure did leave a tired Mommy and Daddy (but a happy Connor) by days end!  He was so sweet on the way to the chapel, saying, "You and Daddy make a really good team, Mommy.  I love my costume!" It really did take two minds to pull this one off!

I tried so hard to convince Aiden to be the lion that Connor was 2 years ago, but he insisted that he was going to be ?????--we found it at Kohl's on clearance!  The reason for the ???? is because not only was I confused as to who he was, but he was as well.  He just LOVED the costume!  I took the boys to the ice cream shop after the party and found that two cute little boys knew exactly who he was.  They were there with their Mom, eating Halloween pretzels and doing homework (what a good Mom); they said that they love Anakin Skywalker , later known as Darth Vader from Star Wars!   Aiden was so happy to be receiving so much attention.  He scared me the first time I saw him with his mask on.

These two adore each other; I am a lucky Mom!

Not much to see here, but just a highlight of how the evening went.  Aiden didn't talk much at all, just played the mysterious ???? to all present.  He danced and played a few games, but mostly just enjoyed being a kid...he is so cute.  Connor glowed in the spotlight as one person after another complimented his costume.  You can also hear him calling me "Mommy Eve".  He really wanted me to get an Eve costume made for me--maybe I can still pull something off, we'll see!

All of this fun while Daddy had to stay home and study....our days with the books will be over someday!

WALL-E

This is my attempt at making a costume for the first time ever. There are still a few finishing touches to be done but this is what I got done in about an hour a couple Saturdays ago. 
I actually told Crystal I didn't want anything to do with making a costume just because of time but then swallowed my pride and ended up enjoying the task. I am not an artist but from a distance I think it will look alright. The best part about it is that it's dark when kids go trick-or-treating. Hopefully the kids at school will not be critics though. The most humbling thing about it was when Connor, who heard me criticising my work, said "It doesn't need to look exactly like WALL-E, Dad". Crystal is going to work on some of the accessories. We will give some updated pics when they are all dressed up for Halloween.

Tiny Hands

I walked into our room today after getting ready and was compelled to stop and read again the words to this song which was written by Kenneth Cope. It is called "Tiny Hands". It hangs in our bedroom alongside the painting you see of Joseph and Emma burying one of their children, both of which hang above the crib in our room. I could not hold back the tears as I read the lyrics which to us has become so real. I stared into the crib which has now stood empty for some 18 months. I can however appreciate the words which say to bring back my baby after the Lord has come again and made the Earth pure. I believe that is the only kind of place worthy for our Shane. He was always so bright and happy. There was something different about him, even before we saw his face. He was a beautiful boy. We are approaching that time of year when my thoughts turn to him even more than usual. I am faced with the excitement of welcoming another pair of tiny hands so very close to my birthday in a couple more months. I look back in remembrance of my birthday just two years ago with Shane still in my arms. It was the best birthday I ever had thanks largely to my sweet Princessa (Crystal). This season that is soon upon us has new meaning for us now. We were blessed with a little one during a time when we celebrate the birth of our Savior. He was taken from us just days before we were to celebrate the death and Resurrection of our Lord. Without either one of them, the other has no meaning. I look forward to the day when He who has made it all possible, even life itself, will prepare the Earth for those who have been given Eternal Life. I only hope that I too will be worthy of that gift.

Basic Writing!

I guess I was unaware that in Kindergarten, the children are taught to spell how it sounds--not how it is right.  I like that theory; I am glad someone older and wiser is teaching my son, I would have been all over him for missing most of the letters in a word when I worked so hard to teach him about silent "e's" and so forth.  I had to laugh the first time he came home with a journal from school...it was too cute to see the way he spelled everything.  The teacher--Steve's kindergarten teacher--does not help the children spell, she emphasizes that they do everything alone!

So, what happened here?  EVERYTHING is literally backwards...hmmmm!  Don't worry, it gets better.  Oh yeah, he is known as "Connor Dude", while the other children, so wisely, use their real names every day!

That looks better!

"I like to eat!"  I must have packed a chocolate chip granola bar for a snack that day.  His teacher also emphasizes only healthy snacks....don't worry, most days he has mandarin oranges!