Know Your Path, Know Who You Are!

I have a beautiful sister who provides me with extraordinary journals every year, usually on the anniversary of my son's birthday (the one who would have been eight this December).  

I've begun a journey...well, I'm continuing a journey.  It is a journey we all take, at one time or another.  I was blessed by gifts from God at a very early  age to begin seeking why I felt important and valued--cherished beyond measure, and reserved for greatness.  

Don't get too hasty in the zealous sound of that statement, because we ALL are destined for greatness. However, the outcome is a result  of millions of little  choices we make, day by day.  

I am full of imperfection, but I know the feeling of my inherit nature when I experience things which my spirit recognizes.  I feel it when I sing hymns with friends and congregations.  It comes out when I write stories with metaphorical and symbolical content....all which point to life and is beauties, battles, struggles, and epiphanies.  I feel it when I'm reaching out to a friend in love and compassion, to comfort their aching heart.  It is there when I create a beautiful quilt from scraps, and especially when the last stitch is placed, it is washed, and handed to its owner.   I especially  feel it when I am with child; I am amazed at how pregnancy can be so hard physically with the never ending sickness and physiological changes, yet feel so complete, so perfect ,  and so whole.  I feel it in the depths of labor pain, when a child is about to begin its mortal journey, and I stand as a vessel between God and man.  That is when I feel it at its strongest.  I feel my divinity when I lose...when I lose my pride, and when I lose my loved ones.  

I felt it in my darkest hour, when my child was brought back to God because of his precious, innocent, and perfect spirit--though the nights were full of endless tears, I felt it when I realized he had escaped this envious world. I lost, but I gained treasures that my mouth can't adequately express. The words I need for the feelings of love and gratitude I have for being given such a gift do not exist....it is a feeling far greater than the image of kingdoms, riches, and powers.  

I feel it when he's near, between this world and the next --when he comes in memory, thought, symbol, or dream.  

 

It is not enough to merely feel it, however. I must act worthy of it and remember it.  When life hands me lemons, which I ironically love above all fruit,  so we will call it....grapefruit --when life gives me grape fruit, and the taste is bitter, I will crave that sweet fruit which brings joy and peace. It is then that I will need to recall my divinity....and it will be written here, by my own hand and through my personal experiences.