Cheese on a Sunny Day!

It was a good sunny day...and we enjoyed the sunshine thoroughly...can you tell? Lydia walked away right as this picture was taken...poor baby didn't get a pic with the angels! It sure looks like they're surrounding us (yep...unedited pic, love when that happens!).

Convinced the pregnant Momma...my sis...that she needed at least a few pics of her and li'l Christian before his grand entrance. Believe me, once we started it was hard to stop her...I got half a dozen adorable pics of her!

Enjoyed holding Maya who loved each and every animal cracker with pure delight!

And loved seeing the kids personalities shine through. Connor, to the left, was less than happy to be spending all afternoon outside--he's an indoors kinda guy! He had a ton of fun but was disappointed Aiden stoped playing with him. And Aiden, in the middle, yep, he's giving Connor the eye! He gives ALL of us the eye, all day long! I admit...that's a trait he got from his Momma! And Lydia, she simply adores her brothers and watches their every move. Please Liddy...disregard the outside play disappointment and dirty looks!

And then I got the biggest kick out of my little Maya...only 9 months old...saying what I require my kids to say every single day...

CHEESE!

Perfect Feet

I went into work on Monday night, 3/07. I found my self drawing connections to my Great Grandma Maymie...whose Birthday is 3/07 and my beautiful son Shane, who was born at 3:07 am. My mind is deep...and there are times when all I do is think, draw connections, think some more, and end in awe over how intricate the Lord's plan is for us. I actually went to the temple with my husband the year our baby boy would have been a year old, on December the 2nd, and performed the ordinances for my Great Grandmother and Grandfather...it was a profound and amazing experience.

I was on call on 3/07; we are required to pull one on call shift a month at the hospital, and it has been more often lately because of how sick the children are. I was scheduled in advance by someone else...I am at the mercy of the unit when it comes to developing a schedule. I came in knowing that there was a sick child sent from another hospital in the area whom I had cared for just under 4 months ago. When I heard his name, my heart sunk...I remembered him, his parents, and the miracle behind his little life.

While I was caring for my patients, the code alarm sounded, and nurses from the unit went running to this 4 month old child's room--myself included. He was quickly stabilized when I noticed a two year old little sister walking aimlessly--the baby's mother was fully focused on her infant, so I snatched her up and played with her. She looked deep in my eyes, grinned, and then instantly started to find something to play with. We found a toy hooked to the wall outside of her brothers room. She stood there while I knelt down and played with her. She looked at her brothers door, looked back at me, and said, "Brother die...." (except she called him by name, of which I cannot do here, but her voice and his sweet name will forever be in my mind), she then sounded weary as she said, "Brother hurt." I hugged her tight, lifted her up and started walking around....only moments later her little brother once again started to slip away, and once again, life saving efforts were performed. After three episodes, the mother and father were left to decide whether to continue or allow their child to slip away. She begged, "What if you take him to surgery now?" to which the doctor and I had to, with weary heart, let her know that her child wasn't stable enough to survive a surgery. She cried, "So what you're telling me is I'm losing my son tonight". She looked deep into my eyes and said, "He is fighting so hard, " and then she wept like only a parent losing a child weeps. They finally allowed him to pass into the next life....only to have a door of longing and pain opened for the period of this life. In spite of our knowledge of life here and in heavenly realms, nothing comes close to the pain of losing a child. I looked at this beautiful baby's body, so chubby and perfect, laying motionless on the bed...and my heart was drawn back to the very moment I saw my chubby little 4 month boy laying motionless in the exact same position, with the exact same tubes from his mouth aimed at saving his life, and my heart grew weary. I wished that I could allow that mother to have her son alive....I would suffer the pain all over again, if she didn't have to. I watched her examine his little feet and touch his body; I know that feeling--as you strive to remember every detail and curve of a body that will soon be placed in the grave. They left the hospital that night without their son, as we did in March 2007, it's not natural....my heart breaks for them.

I am once again convinced that coincidences do not exist in the Lord's plan. I was placed on call by a nurse on 3/07, feeling so close to my son, for a purpose. I held a little girl that night and witnessed her foresight with awe, and I watch a beautiful four month old infant fade into the next life. This was the first death I have witnessed on the PICU--he was only days from turning four months, the same exact number of days our Shane was from turning four months old.

Sweet son, my son, I still remember how your beautiful perfect feet looked on that cold March day...I remember every detail. I love you so much precious child.

Crazy

Yep, that's me...crazy huh? Not more than a pound thinner than I was after my fifth child was born...that's really crazy, and depressing. I like this pic...makes my hair look longer than it really is. Oh ya...the hair thing...that's crazy too huh? I go back and forth between blond and dark brown all the time...there is a purpose. You all might think it's crazy, but it's clear to me....I like to start fresh with the highlights...that requires a clean slate...however dark it may be!

Wanna' hear something even crazier? I was doing the normal night routine...bathing kids, feeding kids, making brownies, doing laundry, and singing my lungs away....okay, not a nightly thing, but my spirit is light and happy today! I was singing at the front of our house...in the laundry room while I folded the last bits of laundry before my crazy night shift work begins this weekend. I was singing Patsy Cline's "Crazy"...."Worry, why so I let myself worry, wondering...what in the world will I do?....I'm crazy, crazy for feeling so lonely...I'm crazy for trying, crazy for crying, and I'm crazy for loving you..."

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK...

It was a very loud, manly knock at the front door.

Guess what? The laundry room vents out to the front door--mind you I am singing at the top of my lungs, in my best Patsy Cline voice, while Lydia stands nearby going through all of our food in the pantry singing this new song Mommy knows so well.

I open the door and the gentleman is humming the one and only...."Crazy" by dear Patsy Cline.

Hmmm....who felt kinda' crazy tonight?

Busy Times...

This past week has been a bit of a challenge in the Fultz home. Daddy has been pulling over time while the respiratory season has the Children's program busy as ever, Maya is growing, starving, and teething, Lydia is helping herself to food galore....she is an endless pit as well, but when she eats, the house is a testament of her tracks, and the boys are full swing into school with 100 day projects, homework, class party's, and Dr.Seuss activities. So, on one of the more nerve wrecking days, I was given the challenge of trying to feed my Maya like this...

In spite of every effort I made to help her sit in a more normal fashion, she refused. For some odd reason, which didn't seem to please her, she decided that a twisted core would be the eating position of choice for the night....and she cried through the entire meal. Poor baby :(

My boys are so good at rolling with the punches! When Wednesday morning came, and I was still a tired mess from my weekend of night shift work, I was left gathering lunches, tossing graded school papers out of backpacks, stuffing homework (unchecked) into the back packs and reading flyer's in a desperate attempt to make sure I had covered my grounds.

Oops...I didn't...

It was Dr. Seuss green hair day, and my enthusiastic Aiden came running out of his room pulling down a green shirt, thrilled to have another school day full of Dr. Seuss activities. (He has worn a green shirt every day this week so far...love that boy!) What would I do?

The closest I could get to hair was a crown, so I literally ran down the hallway at 7:35am...while my girls sat at the breakfast table screaming for my attention. I grabbed the last two green pieces of construction paper we had and made each boy a goofy green crown.

Dr. Seuss must have been nearby, in spirit (he he!), because just as the crowns were near completion, the grand idea to make my boys Thing 1 and Thing 2 came! I placed the crowns on their heads, grabbed my girls, dying for my attention, and ran out the door. With the 20 pound car seat in hand, I ran around the car to close all the open doors--modeling my hot purple, pink, green, and blue jungle pants with a gray sweatshirt and tangled hair. And we were off...

Only to miss the bus...

So I drove them to school and got out to escort them to the door, as I have been told I am required to if I drop them off. I avoided making eye contact with every soul...even the children...and pretended to brush the hair out of my face over and over again. Yes, I was hiding my identity! As I drove away, I realized that I didn't see a single child beyond my own with green hair...or crowns. My heart sunk. If I didn't have two young girls to care for all day I would have stayed and made crowns for the children!

So, how do you interpret, "Close your eyes?"

Miss Lydia has been obsessed with the Taylor Swift song, "Love Story"...in which the phrase "close your eyes" is said multiple times. She knows precisely what it means...every time it's said, she places her hands over he eyes and closes them. While the song is playing she sings as best as she can and gets side tracked when she says, "close your eyes" and then says, "my nose...." (while touching her nose of course) just to prove to us that she is so very good at naming all her body parts. On this particular day, she awed me with a new version of "close your eyes". She was playing with her wood dolls and saying over and over again, "close our eyes!" I looked over and saw this....

"Clothes your eyes!"

I LOVE MY KIDS!!! Here, Maya is looking at the camera saying "Dada!" Can you hear it? We recently learned that she has some reflux issues with her right kidney. Urine should only travel one way...to our bladders...but hers goes backwards and back into her right kidney. Poor baby. We are hoping that the years will pass and the problem will correct itself. For now, we will be visiting with a nephrologist for treatment.

Just had to add a few more pics of my beautiful girls. Lydia came to me today after she refused her nap. She was in her crib for about 30 minutes when I finally walked in, hugged her and got her out. She followed me around the house as she always does...my spittin' image...and then stood still against the corner of the kitchen entrance while I gathered a few items. She, behind her binky, whispered something I couldn't comprehend with her head hanging down. I bent down and asked her to come closer and said, "What did you say honey?" She approached, slowly and whispered again....and I couldn't comprehend...again. The third time, I took her into my arms, took out her binky, and asked her what she was saying again....to which she said..."Sorry, I not sleep." I hugged her so tight, let her know I was in no way upset she wasn't sleeping, and we then continued our Mommy daughter routine as she watched every move I made, followed every footstep, and provided the best company ever!

I love these girls....

Meager Attempt at Valentine's Day

Woke early to a sick baby, fed baby, changed diaper, put baby back to bed...

Contemplated exercising...didn't do it!

Stuffed baggies with Valentine's candies.

(I am naturally a procrastinator, but this was entirely due to a weekend of nothing but the flu...ugh!)

Got the boys up to write names in papers...had boys stuff papers into bags while I...

Cleaned bathrooms!

Fed kids.

Woke baby for car ride.

Maya drenched in vomit...gave an extremely fast bath to a very happy sick baby!

Drove boys to school...decided to keep Aiden home at the last minute...still sick!

Went crazy at home with Liddy's new found desire to pull every item out of it's place.

Exclaimed gratitude to Lydia for every burp cloth and receiving blanket we own.

Took a deep breath and tried to ignore the extreme mess.

Took a few pics.

Held screaming girls who refused naps.

Drove screaming girls who refused naps around town for an hour.

Silence in the car...relief.

Picked Connor up.

Kids home, bathed, doing homework and eating candy for dinner.

Boys decide they need some real food...cereal and bagels it is! (French toast was planned, but nothing goes as planned these days!)

Lydia continues to eat candy...lots of candy...for dinner.

Say goodbye to Daddy...the Valentine's nurse this year.

Open package from Grandma Fultz--children thrilled with Zwahlen's shirts!

Connor exclaims, "Grandma has a yellow, blue, pink and green one!"

Look at Connor's report card...straight E's, which is straight A's!

All is well that ends well! Happy Valentine's Day!

My boy and I will celebrate Wednesday...our only night off together this week! The weather's getting warm, but we may have to turn up the AC and cuddle under fuzzy blankets...so efficient!

Fine Lines and Wrinkles!

Okay, so I admit, I have recently googled treatments for fine lines and wrinkles. That's not my only issue with the 30's: it now takes extraordinary efforts to lose weight, my wardrobe consists of over sized sweatshirts and lounge pants, and my hair is starting to feel brittle (ugh). I have not seen a gray hair yet, however!

But, those fine lines have come from good sources....

Watching my son read at the end of the day and find joy in each chapter accomplished brings a huge smile to my face!

Seeing my youngest crawl for the first time amazes me just as much as it did with the first child!

And then leaving her with a pop-tart while I fixed her "real" breakfast, then turning around to this only moments later makes me laugh....deepening those fine lines greatly!

Maya, you are one of a kind!!!

As for those wrinkles...

Walking into Lydia's bedroom after Daddy insisted she take a nap this morning, and I followed it through with ignoring her while I took a bath...only to find her stark naked in the end....well, that produced wrinkles followed by fine lines!

Our Newest Friend!

Connor is such a good and handsome boy--always polite, very reserved, and finding the joy in small and simple things. A few days ago he was saving his reading time so that we could sit on the couch together and read our books at the same time.

Today, Connor came home from school with his candy bar that he bought with his very own dollar. Yesterday, I scrounged up enough change in the Ford only moments before the bus swept my kids away. I lectured them to hold onto every coin because one lost one will not get a candy bar. They came home with chocolate bars and smiles. Today, as we were driving home, Connor stated, "I wish I saved my chocolate bar from yesterday...then I would have had two today..." As soon as we pulled into the driveway, he bent over to pick up his back pack off of the floor and spied a bag of fruit snacks...."I found fruit snacks! This is turning into a really good day!"

Daddy built us a snow man with the remnants of snow on Monday! The kids...already showered and getting ready for bed....peeked out the window in awe!

Yesterday, Miss Lydia snatched up the tootsie rolls from our friends mouth...the ones that had fallen, and unwrapped each one, eating it's delicious contents! When we drove up to the house Tuesday morning, she stated, "I lie is hat! I lie is arms!" (like his) Lately, she has been obsessed with every little body part of hers, mine, and Daddys! It's a game she randomly plays as she approaches us saying, "Mommy's nose (touching it), my nose, Mommy's ears, my ears...." She also loves hats and has a cute little sorrowful phrase she repeats over and over again as she played with Woody one day. In her little imagination, Woody lost his hat...and she would toss his so that his hat would literally fall off. Then, she would pick him up again and with a pouty face and voice exclaim, "My haaaattt...my haaattt!"

In case you were wondering how I get my boys to follow through with tasks...it's simple and clear...just how they need it to be! Enjoy, once again!