Happy Birthday Tiny Angel!

December 1, 2006--Mommy and Aiden anxiously waiting for Baby Shane.  Less than a day later, on December 2, 2006 at 3:07am,  we would hold our little angel for the first time.

Moments later, I would change into more comfortable "laboring" clothes and take a picture with our little family, Shane in belly, one last time before his entrance into this world.  Little did we realize how sacred his entrance into life would be for us and how little time we would be given to treasure and hold him as a tiny babe.

But on his Birthday, we held him so close, as any new parent would their newborn child.  Daddy marveled at the beauty of his third born son and proudly cuddled him in his arms.

I explored the face that hid within my belly for 9 long months and simply glowed in the light of a beautiful birth experience and a perfect little son.  Quite literally, I was in awe over how the Lord would bless me with a perfect tiny bundle.

Actually, we explored each other!

The proud big brothers--Connor and Aiden--came into the hospital room to visit their Baby Shane.  When Connor entered the room, he ran to me and said, "Mommy is Baby Shane out of your belly yet?"  I was holding Shane directly in front of Connor's face as he frantically looked around the room for his little brother.  After quite a bit of redirection, he saw his baby brother, tore his coat at both sides from the center of his body, smiled with enthusiasm, and said, "Baby Shane, look at my new cars shirt!"  Aiden was just a babe himself, almost 19 months old. Grandma had dressed the boys in brand new clothes for their first visit with their Baby Shane--they looked handsome, and I was overcome with joy as I held my three boys all at once.  There was no greater joy than to have all my children surrounding me.

I captured his beauty!

And the beauty of a big brother who would--over the few short months he had with Baby Shane--claim Shane as his own.  He still claims Shane as his own!  We sat together, Connor and I, in the weeks following Baby Shane's birth, and he would say that Baby Shane is, "Mommy and Connor's baby".

Daddy traveled home in the wee hours of the morning after Shane was born, got a few hours of sleep, and then traveled back to be with his baby boy.  The anticipation of our children's lives leaves Steve exhausted in the weeks surrounding their deliveries--he get's little sleep along side of me!

Honestly, Steve never really wanted to leave me and Shane; he was so rushed to get to us on the day of our discharge that he was pulled over by a police man for speeding AND not changing his address on his license within a specified amount of time.  (We had just moved to Lititz, PA--that is where all of our Baby Shane memories developed!)

I felt like an angel that day; little did I know that I literally held a perfect little angel.

Here is to the love we have for our tiny Birthday boy.  We celebrated his Birthday only once while he resided on this earth--the day of his birth.  Although the pain of his loss causes us to think of the missed anniversaries and land marks in his life, we are filled with anticipation for the time when we will have all of those precious moments to experience in a fullness of joy.  Still, my heart aches to hold him once more, to be brought back to that sacred day of his birth, to kiss his tiny hands and feet, and to say, "I love you so much!"  The Lord has heard my prayers, and I am certain Shane has heard those longings from me this day.  Godspeed my prayers!