What would a beautiful 9 year old boy do on his Birthday? In his Momma's thoughts, he would enjoy a day off from school, go see The Peanuts Movie, laugh with his brothers through the fun and innocent entertainment, pick up pizza for dinner, and of course, make it a Charlie Brown day with Snoopy Cupcakes. Beautiful boy, tiny babe, though I know I will spend that time with you one day, I couldn't help but shed a few tears as I stared out into the dark night sky on our way home from the celebration we had in honor of you. I miss you more every year. You were the most beautiful 4 months I have ever had.
I'm overhearing a talk that is on in the next room over. It is speaking about death, and specifically the death of our sweet children. It referenced the feelings of looking back at that lonely casket, as we lay them to rest, wondering if our hearts would break. I can say, yes, they do...for years...they break. He went on to testify that one day that pain will be swallowed up, because the Savior will make all that has been done whole again. When I hear words of such truth, I am comforted knowing that it's not wrong for the separation from you, my infant son, to get harder, as the time draws further from the last time I held you and kissed your face. It's okay to not be whole through this life. It's okay to miss you, to long for you, to love you deeper every year. In all those things....I do...
Beautiful son, I miss you so much...
But I love you so much more than the depths of my pain, and that is why I fight daily for our reunion.
I love you...SUPER much....to the moon and back...and beyond...
Mommy
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