Nothing Better Moments

 There's nothing better than getting your build a bear to stand on it's own, per Lydia!

And there's nothing better than a bubble bath at the end of the day, per Mom. 

There's nothing better than your first kiss...and the awkwardness of it!

Some days, there's nothing better than perfecting a holiday makeup look.  Come on

ladies, I love makeup!!!

There's nothing better than the first snow of the season. 

'

There's nothing better than tucking yourself into clean sheets at night. 

There's nothing better than ice cold water on a HOT day, after you have worked your butt off!

There's nothing better than getting just  what you've  wanted for so long, and treasuring it.  Sometimes it's as simple as nail polish!

 

And then there's nothing better than a completely clean house that feels Martha Stewart ready for your husband to come home to. 

After all the "nothing better" moments have passed, there's still a longing, because the "nothing betters" didn't fill the need!  

The bear will always fall, the bath will get cold and uncomfortable, the kiss ends, makeup smears, snow melts, sheets wrinkle, and water becomes....well, ordinary. Now that "thing" you've wanted for so long may last a bit longer on that happy list, but face it....you're gonna look for something else , and chances are you won't find it.  The house, inevitably, will look worse when you wake than it did when you laid that weary body to rest. That's the life of a mom with kids from 3-10 years old.

Until ....

...you're on the phone with your sister laughing as hard as you can, gasping , not for breath, but to get the next words out.   Then, your crying, not for your pain, but for hers. 

Then the memory of all the beautiful people who have come and gone comes so suddenly...reminding you not of all you've lost, but all you have preciously gained and experienced, the good and bad.

You'll find it the moment you realize that the "anonymous" giver is the same sweet soul over and over again, in EVERY hard moment of your life. 

And it will be there when you're love letters to your son who loves Star Wars become instant "ah-ha" teaching moments!

Tearfully, it will be there when you're son tells you everything about you no one has on a long time...and you will believe it to be true, 100%.

It will be there when you give birth to your first, second, third, fourth, fifth, and,....well, you get it!  When you give birth to a child you will always find a lasting love bundled in a body that just grows and grows, ever so quickly, and  ever so slowly, all at once! 

You'll see yourself  thinking,  "that's right...." when the clock ironically reads 3:07 every afternoon you glance up at the time. 

Ever so sweetly, you will find it when you're oldest son, who is ten, says, "oh ya  Mom, I get it. It's 12:02 right now. That's Shane's Birthday!".  All I had to say was, rather excitedly, "it's 12:02!!!"

After that, you'll find it when you teach your son the significance of a symbol, and how God speaks to us in symbols. 

Tenderly, you will find what you're looking for in the hand of you're husband on you're sunken shoulder as the doctor says, "there's nothing more we or you could have done."

Though you will cry, you will feel your husband's tender arms wrap around you and hold you tighter than ever, just wishing he could have saved your son for you; in that moment you will realize that pure love seeketh not its own, but another's. He wanted Shane to live more for me, his mother, because he knows my motherly heart.  

Sadly, we still move on trying to find the "nothing betters" when they are right before us. Still, I get it; I understand the unfilled sadness at days end when your husband works every single night. I know the reality of maintaining that place where moth and rust does corrupt rather quickly.  I feel the pangs of fatigue wrap me in its arms as another shift comes and goes, and the laundry is packed high in the "dirty" basket.  I'm getting old (33), or feeling old, but I can remember the sadness of not getting everything just right. My Mom sought to help me, I cried in confusion and anxiety, then slammed my door saying, "you don't get it"!  HA!!! I was so wrong, though I still have that awful habit going strong. 

We all want to be understood, not just fixed. We all want to cry and be hugged, not brushed off as over emotional. Mortality is hard, harder for some, but again...that is no place for our judgement. 

Daily, I live in the "nothing better" moments, and daily I seek the better part. I tend to find the better part often, but it needs to be accessed often to be found.

But to all the "nothing betters"...I love you...I just don't have lasting happiness with you!  There is SO MUCH MORE!