Little Girls Can Swing...Right?

Lately, I've felt kinda stuck between being a woman and a little girl. I honestly would love to go back to being the little girl on the right--who is protected and cuddled in her parents arms. The one on the left...not so sure I am totally happy with who she has become. It is amazing how the weights of this world, the weights of sin, the weights of misunderstanding, and so much more, can come back and haunt you in your most vulnerable moments.

So, last week, on a particularly hard day...I went for a drive....

And when I had circled this loop we live on at least four times, I finally stopped mid circle at a school. I was the only "little girl" on that massive playground. I was alone to contemplate life and heartache. Guess what I did?

I went straight to my most treasured piece of playground equipment...the swings. What better way to become a little child again than by bringing yourself to the places and feelings of your best childhood memories?

I started out in a little sway, pushing the tips of my feet against the ground to sway front and back, left and right. I looked down at the ground....thinking, thinking, and thinking some more.

I shed some tears, and then a funny thing happened to me...

I heard a voice--not a physical human voice, perhaps the voice of a Father who loves His Heavenly Daughter deeply...it said, "Let go!"

I smiled and thought...you said it! I brought the swing up with me to a standing position, as far back as the chains would allow me, and I let go...swinging high! The higher I got, the more I felt like that little girl again. I giggled! I let the air run through my hair and felt my heart flutter in a bit of innocent fear, and then I felt pure joy overcome me as I began to laugh.

I long to feel that pure joy and peace. I want to "swing" freely and giggle again...to let go. I long to feel like the Beloved Daughter that I know I am.