Agency...Family...Communication...Blah, Blah, Blah!!!

The truth about agency is that I didn't really get to choose what family I came down to; at least not that I know of. I don't get to choose everything that will come my way in terms of trials or even the daily grind. The only choice I have is how I will handle each of those circumstances. I am so grateful for my mother and father for deciding to have a third child and for raising me in the gospel. I am grateful that they put up with me and loved me, even when I broke their hearts and God's. I am grateful they have taken us in like stray kittens and let us camp out in their basement for awhile, AGAIN! In spite of all of that, I am so angry right now! You can all tell by word of mouth and by reading my brother's and sister in law's blogs that my family is a nightmare right now. I think my parents want to do right in what they are trying to do, but at the same time, I feel like their hearts have failed them. They have grown week in knees, and I stand alone as the only one willing to have a voice. Family is THE MOST IMPORTANT thing in the world to me but sometimes showing love means doing the hard thing! A lot of this stems from a poorly developed ability to communicate, even while we were growing up. If it isn't learned then, it will likely stink on ice later in life, also. I still see poor communication between my parents and they have been married for 30+ years. I think it takes a lifetime to master the art of communication, but in our young, growing family, we talk to each other. I owe much of my ability to communicate to my innate, almost girly sensitivity (as a previous bishop once told me). I believe a lot has also been gained through obtaining a higher education level than just high school. Nursing in general has benefited us greatly in this area. Maybe that is a big part of why we came to this earth life experience; to learn to communicate. There is verbal language and body language, and then there is a whole other language between spirits. I guess we will figure that one out in the next life, although I have felt pieces of that in this life. Where am I going with this? What am I saying? Blah, blah, blah! I wish for my family, what I wish for America. WAKE UP! It just makes me want to get done with school and move away to get a breath of fresh air for awhile. Family,...make a choice to turn thoughts into words, or it is just a secret with yourself. It's just a couple of more weeks and one more semester for me. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I fear there is darkness for others in my family. But as selfish as it sounds; August, here we come!