The Older We Get, The Harder We Fall!

I Love my boys...they, themselves, are very loving towards me, handsome, fun, and full of surprises! Aiden is an outdoors kinda' guy...anything that deals with dirt, bugs, and plants is pretty cool to him. When we get home from school, he can't even make it to the front door. Daily, I find his bag sitting 2 feet away from the door, and a missing child--distracted by the beautiful world we have to work with!

Connor is an indoors kinda' guy. He loves to sit and relax, read, play games, cuddle, and draw. He will melt your heart with his gentle hugs and offers to help, though he usually aims for something in return. At least he is learning that kindness goes a mile while pride and anger can't even make it an inch.

So, today, they had gathered the money they found at the Easter egg hunt at Mimi's (post to follow), and miraculously came across Aiden's tooth fairy money from months ago. They combined all their single bills and change to make $20. They plan to buy a video game with it. I told them I would go and buy it tomorrow while they are at school, they just had to tell me which one it is.

But tonight...fatigue set in, and they did nothing but whine and complain...never mind the defiant attitude when it came to our nightly bedtime routine! I warned them once and then pulled back the offer to buy them the game tomorrow as a punishment for their behavior. They cried...as expected. :(

Aiden was curious if he lost the privilege too, and Connor said, "Ya Aiden, you do. It wouldn't be fair if you still had it. Tattle telling is a weird thing!" as he cried like never before. He knew that Aiden's tattle telling pushed me over the limit, and it caused a loss for both of them.

Hopefully they will resolve to work out their issues with each other instead of coming to me just to get the next one in trouble. And, in the end, I'm not that mean. I always offer a way back to what they originally desired...I wouldn't be teaching good gospel standards if I didn't. Connor usually initiates it all on his own. He read our scriptures tonight, turned out the lights, went to bed in an instant, and I know he will strive harder to be good tomorrow!

Do Not Run...

I've been REALLY down on myself lately. Getting tired of the "When are you due?" comments I get. It's discouraging....to say the least. I've fallen into the bad habit of calling myself big a few numbers of times...I try not to say fat around the kids. However, I always say that I need to lose weight, and that gives the kids the impression that I am not happy about myself. There is only so much we can do...we both work long hard hours, I find myself having to stay awake for 50 hour periods at times just to help provide for my family (as I will do this Easter weekend) , and we have 4 busy children who need us ALL the time. I honestly don't know if anyone could have gone through all that we have been through over the last 1.5 years and live a perfectly healthy life....the stress alone has caused a lot of weight gain.

With that said, I was watching the last Narnia movie last weekend. Lucy, sweet little Lucy, finds a spell book and casts a spell which would transform her "reflection, cast into perfection, lashes, lips, and complexion". It would make her fair to one who holds more beauty over her...in her young eyes at least. She experiences a moment in which SHE, little pretty LUCY is no longer in existence. It is very sad....

Then, Aslan (a figure of Christ in the Narnia series) comes to her and says, "Lucy, what have you done child?...You wished yourself away, and with it, much more. Your brothers and sisters wouldn't know Narnia without you Lucy. You discovered it first, remember? You doubt your value; do not run from who you are."

I was humbled....

Beauty is only skin deep.

The worth of my soul, my family, the great work I do for them, and my God is my existence.

I failed...

(BIG LOOOONG sigh!)

We have been busy bees!

Overall...I am pleased to say that the children are all healthy...finally!

I love watching Lydia become more of a princess every day!

Although, with it comes more temper tantrums and outbursts of daily tears. She was driving me bonkers one day, so I (regretfully) said, "My goodness girl, you're being a brat!" I know, it's the worst thing you can call your sweet children.. :( . She is unaware of what a brat is, and with her nature to repeat all things, and her naive little mind at work, she claimed herself....as a brat. She continued her crying and walked around with her (I'm so sorry for myself) whimper, saying, "I'm such a baaat..." over and over. I quickly stopped her and told her she was absolutely wonderful to me.

And then, in all my spare moments, I love watching my Maya grow up...my, it happens fast!

We're also taking Mr. Aiden, who has embraced his own style, to a great number of appointments....some for sleep problems, other for eyes....and the list goes on.

So, on to today....

I made lots of mistake, which can be the norm in my home!

Last night Connor handed me a paper, I brushed him off claiming I would read it later...

He got upset and said, "That's what you said last time!" (Yes, my friends, it is starting...my son is feeling I am failing him!)

I didn't read it...

Well, I did read it, but not until this morning after I drove my children to the bus and was home enjoying breakfast with the girls. It said, "Our Easter egg hunt will be Wed., the 20th at 12:30. Please bring a dozen plastic eggs with candy and a basket for your child!"

My shoulders fell.

I failed my son...again.

So, I did what any mother does...and I called my sister to let her know how crazy I am!

I made it to the school in time to deliver his eggs and Easter bag, but then I missed the bus at the end of the day.

I found my orphan boys at the school, waiting for their mother. What a crazy day!!!

As you can see, Maya thoroughly enjoyed her chocolate today....a last chance effort to keep her happy in the car!

She then took it upon herself to crawl out the front door while I put groceries away. She explored without hesitation. Her knees grew red, but her heart was so happy to be outside...on her own. Yes, she ate a stick too....my child is most definitely normal!

She knows how to cuddle her Momma!

The Hard Things in Life

I've been thinking a lot lately about the person I swore I would never become--the list isn't very long, because I have, for the most part, dreamed about the person I would become instead:

I swore I would never:

1. Be cruel and hateful

2. Be lazy

3. Be chubby (the F.A.T. word sounds too harsh!)

4. Be angry and bitter with life.

I always thought I would:

1. Be a kind and gentle wife and mother

2. Be healthy and cook well balanced meals for my growing children

3. Be forgiving

4. Read my scriptures and say my prayers unceasingly

5. Become a nurse AND a writer

6. Own a home

7. Find time for every person in my life that I love and admire

There are things on both of those lists that have big red "X's" on them, in my eyes. I won't point out which ones they are...it is for me to judge, I guess, but they are there. I spoke with my sister today about the Atonement. I am certain that those "X's" can be taken away and give me a fresh start, Lord knows I need it...daily! It's easy to not be those things on list #1 when times are easy....and it's quite natural to be those things on list #2 when everything seems to be going your way....

BUT...

There are easy things in life....

and then, there are hard things!

Like forgetting your binky at home, and having a LONG day without it. Poor Miss Lydia suffered a 30 minute car ride at the close of the day. When we left the house, she was at peace; the day was still young, she was thrilled to be going for a car ride, and life seemed just perfect with a bag of cheese balls and a big cup of water. When she asked, "My binky?" and I said, "Oh honey, I think we left it at home!", she giggled and said, "Oh, Mommy, I left it at home!!!"

But then, after fatigue set in, a hungry tummy was approaching, and big brothers looked at her in just the very way she would despise, the pain of not having the binky became real. It's a bit harder to be cheerful and patient, waiting for a much desired blessing, when times get hard.

When we got home, I gave her the binky, and she hugged me so tight...she wouldn't let me go.

Our much desired blessings will have us hugging the Savior so tight one day...it'll be hard to let go!

Even more hard things :(

Poor Maya came down with a GI bug, but she also fell off a high chair head first. Her continuous vomiting had both me and Daddy concerned, so we visited the Pediatric Urgent Care. All is well with my princess. The doctor was awesome, telling me that she'll just want Mommy to hold her all night long....

and when she's better, she'll just want Mommy to hold her all night long again! He then left the room, came back in, and said, "Here, I have something for you!"

He handed me a sticker, to which I thought....she's only 10 months old, she doesn't need a sticker!

He said, "That's Mommy and Daddy!"

I started laughing so hard, it was Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog!

I said,"Ya, that's how it feels these days....Miss Piggy!"

He laughed with me, his white aged hair and rosy cheeks sparkling with light, as he gave me a friendly tap on the shoulder.

Some people sure know how to make the hard times...easy!

Much like the Savior!

By the way, I got a new chair today...love it!!!

And I had to take a picture of my antique wheel chair from my late Grandpa Don...love it too!

Saved Again!

So, I helped Allen work on pulling a wire for the pump that runs the sprinkler system. I had a good time helping and got to know him a little better which was a plus as well. There was some rewiring of the electrical panel as well in order to run the pump. The Riddles are such good people and we are extremely grateful to be able to stay here and get to know them better. Anyway, we watched as much of the LDS General Conference as the kids would allow as well. It was a good weekend.

We went to use the dryer which was involved in the rewiring of the panel and it turned right on. The clothes went through the cycle and the next day when we checked the clothes, they were still wet. I tried running it again and checked the temperature of the dryer as we have had problems with it before not putting out good heat. It didn't work. I thought the dryer must have finally broke. We were getting power, so how could it be anything else.

The spirit whispered to me "There is something wrong with the wiring".

Me: How could there be? We are getting power.

Spirit: We are only getting power from one of the wires, not both.

Me: That doesn't even make any sense.

So, I called about getting a new dryer, which we really didn't need to be spending money on with all of the other bills due at the time. But, we went through with it, thinking the dryer was broken. Well, the new dryer came this morning. I took the plug from our old dryer and hooked it onto our new dryer. I hooked it all up and plugged it in. Guess what...NO HEAT! The dryer is working, but there is no heat. So, the spirit whispered again "there is something wrong at the panel". So I did what anyone would do. I called my dad. The thing is, my dad is no ordinary dad. He really is like superman. He is the superman of knowledge when it comes to all and any trade. My sister in law recently wrote about him as being like President Hinckley of the LDS church. I would have to agree. He is so selfless. He is such a good man. He would know. I knew he would. So, I posed the question. "Dad, is it possible for the dryer to be getting power, but not enough power to heat the coil?" My dad thought for a minute and then responded, "Yeah". I explained everything that happened the previous weekend and then he immediately told me the problem. I quickly finished my conversation with him, and went to the panel to do what he said. I thought to myself as I walked to fix the wiring...what are we going to do when my dad is no longer around to save our butts with things like this. I told Crystal my thoughts and she responded "you better learn it all now then". Well, after doing what he said to do, everything worked and a crisis was averted.

I learned several things through all of this though. I learned that I am not very good at listening to the spirit (and to think I had just listened to the apostles speak about that very subject). I also learned that not doing so can leave you dead broke, haha. But, I was reminded again of how much I love my father and how grateful I am for his knowledge and all that he has taught me both temporally and spiritually. I am so blessed to have two fathers who love me. All are not so lucky.