Seven Years of Adventure!

Steve reminded me today of a tune we use to sing together when we were first married--the two of us singing at the top of our lungs in the car, "Even though we ain't got money...I'm so in love with you honey..." and I laugh now because IT'S STILL THE SAME. No, we don't sing at the top of our lungs in the car these days, we tell the kids to stop screaming instead...BUT, we still ain't got money, just a load of student debt and hopeful hearts for future jobs!

It's been 7 years of ups and downs and all arounds for Steve and me....and the number one thing I have learned about the two of us together is....

The stove is our worst enemy! He has a tendency to boil over every pot of water/pasta that he places on the stove... (these "burner plates"--don't know the official name for them--were bought by Steve just recently because he can't stand the look of black burnt ones! Hmmm...)

And I, on a more serious note, burn everything near the stove. (My most recent burnt item was a box of powdered donuts--glad I caught that one on time!)

The best part of our 7 years together have been the four beautiful children we have been blessed with--Connor, Aiden, Shane, and Lydia! Look at their handsome Daddy--what lucky gal I am!

We have moved more than we would have liked...from Collegeville, to Logan UT, to Magna UT, back to Collegeville, then to Lititz, back to Collegeville...and pretty soon to somewhere within the Collegeville/Norristown area. That makes 6...one shy of our time together! It has been exhausting.

Through moves and school, degree changes, and commitments to the SAME degree major, through happiness and sorrow, life and death....we stand more united than ever. I do hope for a bit of luck this year--as we venture into a new phase of life, but we will take what is given and make the most of it with our beautiful babes by our side!

Rain, Rain GO AWAY!!!

Bet you sang the same tune I'm thinking about right now--at one time or another, "Rain, rain go away...come again another day..." Instead of saying GO AWAY...like I so desperately want to say, I'll resort to "Bring it on!" (Much like Aiden represents above...bring it on, if you dare!)

I'm not talking about the rain that is so fun to run and splash in, the rain you turn every noise making object down to, only to hear the pitter patter on the roof, nope...not that kind of rain. Believe me, I said it as a child, but I never meant it....I never really wanted the rain to go away. The rain I AM talking about...well, we all have to face it at one time or another...to some degree, great or small, so I say..."Bring it on!" Bring it on so that we can learn what we MUST, so we can be stronger and more beautiful, so we can stand with those who suffer and lend an arm. No....don't bring it on only to bring us down, just bring it on so we can be more pure and lovely, more prepared to hold eternity, more valiant and able to bear the Kingdom.

Eventually, we'll run and not be weary....eventually the tears will turn to great happiness and peace. Hopefully that is sooner rather than later...and as a child knows, the puddles will be so refreshing!

Aiden looks like he's saying GO AWAY....I guess that happens at the end of the journey, when it all goes away for good. Let's hope.

The Music

For those of you who don't know, we generally have different music playing except when we do postings for Shane. We change the music to set the mood; to show reverence; to comfort and soothe the soul. It is just so peaceful! I haven't had the nerve to change it back just yet. Something stays my hand! I love when that first song starts to play. I hope you can enjoy it too, while it lasts.

Agency...Family...Communication...Blah, Blah, Blah!!!

The truth about agency is that I didn't really get to choose what family I came down to; at least not that I know of. I don't get to choose everything that will come my way in terms of trials or even the daily grind. The only choice I have is how I will handle each of those circumstances. I am so grateful for my mother and father for deciding to have a third child and for raising me in the gospel. I am grateful that they put up with me and loved me, even when I broke their hearts and God's. I am grateful they have taken us in like stray kittens and let us camp out in their basement for awhile, AGAIN! In spite of all of that, I am so angry right now! You can all tell by word of mouth and by reading my brother's and sister in law's blogs that my family is a nightmare right now. I think my parents want to do right in what they are trying to do, but at the same time, I feel like their hearts have failed them. They have grown week in knees, and I stand alone as the only one willing to have a voice. Family is THE MOST IMPORTANT thing in the world to me but sometimes showing love means doing the hard thing! A lot of this stems from a poorly developed ability to communicate, even while we were growing up. If it isn't learned then, it will likely stink on ice later in life, also. I still see poor communication between my parents and they have been married for 30+ years. I think it takes a lifetime to master the art of communication, but in our young, growing family, we talk to each other. I owe much of my ability to communicate to my innate, almost girly sensitivity (as a previous bishop once told me). I believe a lot has also been gained through obtaining a higher education level than just high school. Nursing in general has benefited us greatly in this area. Maybe that is a big part of why we came to this earth life experience; to learn to communicate. There is verbal language and body language, and then there is a whole other language between spirits. I guess we will figure that one out in the next life, although I have felt pieces of that in this life. Where am I going with this? What am I saying? Blah, blah, blah! I wish for my family, what I wish for America. WAKE UP! It just makes me want to get done with school and move away to get a breath of fresh air for awhile. Family,...make a choice to turn thoughts into words, or it is just a secret with yourself. It's just a couple of more weeks and one more semester for me. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I fear there is darkness for others in my family. But as selfish as it sounds; August, here we come!

Easter Sunday

In keeping up with my twin sister, I had to make matching Easter dresses for me and my first born little Miss this year! Only....mine didn't get finished. Between a nursing baby, a VERY sick Aiden who woke several times screaming through the night (Daddy took care of him for the most part...so I could sew away), and a VERY inexperienced Mommy with clothes making, this is what I got! I've been told that my sister stayed up until 5am Easter morn to do her dress...I made it to 2:30. My Lydia then decided that she wanted to be awake, talking and smiling. I talked with her...enjoyed every minute and then dozed off on the couch, to wake 4 hours later, FULL of energy. (I convinced myslef atleast!)

It turned out perfect for my Little Miss Lydia who is in need of a LONG dress to cover her toes! As for my dress...I'm aiming for Mother's Day!

We ventured out to the cemetery this morning, in keeping with the true tradition of Easter hope. I wonder how Mary must have felt when she approached the Saviors tomb and moments later discovered her Lord face to face. I have been to the cemetery and felt Shane in spirit, in my moments of most need and grief, I have felt him there. I cannot even begin to imagine the overwhleming joy I would feel to see and feel his resurrected body.

Our family will grow and blossom...hopefully into what the Lord intends it to be. I am certain Shane will love watching the changes and happiness that we have. Miss Lydia was an added blessing this year--she is simply scrumptious!

Steve picked out a mixture of pink blue and white flowers with beautful Easter lillies.

I watched people come in handfuls and walk up to their loved ones graves. I watched a few wipe tears from their eyes and even some began to speak. I watched in awe as I thought....there really is hope in this world. Why else would so many venture out on Easter Sunday to visit their loved one's; because they really do believe in the Savior and His power over death.

Look at those handsome boys...and a girl!

He Died For Us, But He Is Risen!!!

We've Been Here Before

Yesterday was the 2 year anniversary of Shane's burial. This past weekend was yet another General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. These two events will always fall close together for us for the remainder of our lives, however long that may be. We've been here before, I thought to myself, and once again there were messages that just seemed to be spoken directly to me and my family. We are approaching Easter and there is so much more to that than there used to be. It is all about hope and faith, something that seems to be lacking in our society today. Just as we have been told, we are living in hard times, but we must have faith. Fear is the opposite of faith. It seems appropriate that we are coming up on the one holiday that points us to the One who can and is willing to rescue us all. We all go through those minor cycles of pride in our own lives, and as it seems one major one in every generation. We cannot fear! We must have faith, and that faith must reside in what truly matters most. The miracle of Easter is what makes all of this hardship and all of our trials worth it. The hope of Easter is everything. The thing about these troubled times is that in some way, we've been here before. We've been here before, and it is a cycle, which means we will find ourselves on the other side again. I hope and pray that we may all turn to Him who offers peace and hope. I am so grateful for living prophets to lead and guide us along the way. May the Lord bless us all to keep our eye on that which matters most, our family.